


Listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness

by jamesisnotonheaven



Series: The Last of Us: into Didi's-verse [1]
Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dina (The Last of Us)-centric, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Late Fall 2038, Mutual Pining, Patrol duty, before Joel died, long live the lesbians, not yet lovers tho, they banter, they kill infected
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25904449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesisnotonheaven/pseuds/jamesisnotonheaven
Summary: Dina was convinced there were two Ellies: the one the compound saw, and the one Ellie seemed to keep a secret, showing Dina glimpses only when they were alone.It was one of the reasons she loved to go on patrol with her.ORThey go on patrol and talk about things, while Dina tries not to stare and show she's falling for her best friend.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Series: The Last of Us: into Didi's-verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1866550
Comments: 22
Kudos: 113





	1. Dina - Honey, I just want you to feel fine

Dina knocked on Ellie’s door, blowing on her gloved hands out of habit. There was no snow yet, but it was freezing and she didn’t believe Ellie was making her wait in the cold.

The door opened to a sleepy Ellie, bun low on her head and hazed green eyes.

"Hey." she seemed surprised to see Dina and her cheeks turned pink above her small grin.

"Hey." she smiled at Ellie, watching how she seemed shy, in her oversized hoodie and socks that didn't match. She could see their breath in the air.

Maybe the first snow wouldn't take long.

"Sorry, I totally overslept, just give me a minute."

"Sure. Can I come in? It's freezing out here"

Ellie nodded, opening the door just enough for her to slip through.

Dina liked Ellie's little house. Her posters on the walls, the pile of comic books on the centre table and the fact that it was always a little messy. It was very Ellie, and she liked the fact she shared it with her.

She sat at the sofa watching while Ellie rummaged through her stuff, packing her notebook from the table. She then checked her pistol in a way that was very professional, her face serious, and it was too fucking hot, so Dina tried to avert her gaze. She tried not to look at Ellie’s profile, at the back of her neck, at her butt in those skinny jeans. She was still checking her out when Ellie sat beside her to put on her boots.

"What, no sneakers today?" she teased. She always teased her for always wearing the same canvas sneakers.

Ellie rolled her eyes at her.

"Guess you'll have to live with me another day," she shrugged, a half-smile on her lips.

"Yeah, no hypothermia today. And you get to keep your toes," her mock excitement to Ellie keeping her toes was met with another eye-roll.

She put on a coat and took her switchblade from the little corner table beside the door. Dina couldn’t help but notice the small marks around it, and she was sure this was some kind of ritual to her.

She wondered if Ellie felt safe.

"C'mon," Ellie said, signaling her to leave first with her head. "Oh shit, it's freezing!"

"Yeah, thank God you didn't put on those sneakers."

"That’s only because they are drying."

"So you finally washed them?" They didn’t really smell, except that one time Ellie stepped on a puddle and they had to race some runners. Dina thanked God the infected didn’t seem to have a sense of smell.

"Yeah, they kinda smelled like raccoon piss."

They laughed at that, walking on Joel's backyard and off the side fence. Dina watched as Ellie's face hardened, her expression a careful mask. Ellie always had her walls up, she reminded herself, it was just that sometimes Dina could jump high enough to peek over it.

"So you know which route we takin'?" Shoulders square, fast paced steps.

"How do you know we're together?" Ellie's steps barely faltered before she kept moving.

"Are we not?" Ellie asked, her voice nervous as she bit the inside of her cheek.

"I don't know, I think you're with one of the younger ones. Jesse just asked me to get you 'cause you're always late." 

Ellie mumbled something under her breath that sounded like she was complaining about having to babysit.

“Have you eaten yet?” she asked, and Ellie shook her head.

“I‘m not really hungry today. You?”

Ellie rubbed the back of her hand on her nose, looking at her briefly. Dina subtly checked her out; she knew Ellie was fit, but maybe she could use some more flesh over her bones.

“Kinda hungry. Do you mind waiting a bit?” Ellie just nodded and they walked in silence to the mess hall. 

It was a thing she had to get used to, in the beginning. How quiet Ellie was. She remembered when they were younger and Dina felt awkward when she couldn’t think of anything else to say. Now it was comfortable.

Dina walked to the line to get her breakfast while Ellie saved them seats in the corner. She unzipped her green jacket and just sat there, waiting for her. Sometimes she would nod when someone spoke to her, but she was mostly observing the people inside.

She picked up their sandwiches and they walked to the stables. The morning was cold but the blue sky was mostly clear, though some grey clouds were dotting it.

“Jesse told me Joel gives him a hard time when you’re scheduled,” Dina commented, but Ellie just hummed. “You guys good?”

“We’re… We’re fine,” everyone had seen how they changed when Ellie disappeared and Joel went after her, their relationship colder. Ellie had been quiet and distant for a couple weeks after it, and it was like when she had just moved, almost four years ago. They felt awkward around her, like she would bite, and Dina was the first to stretch her hand out. “How’re you and Jesse?”

Way to go Ellie.

“We’re fine.”

“Yeah, but… Are you guys together, or…” 

Ellie didn’t look at her face while asking, instead focusing on their path and rubbing her hands together, her cheeks pink. If it was because of the cold wind or because of something else Dina couldn’t be sure. 

“Nah. We’re just friends.” She nodded. There was a short silence before Ellie spoke again.

“Cool, ‘cause that would be weird as fuck.” She could imagine super uncomfortable Ellie trying to remain friends with both of them if they suddenly became not-friends, and the thought made her laugh.

“Yeah, no. Totally friends.” 

The silence that came wasn’t weird. It instead settled nicely between them, the only sound they made being the soft crushing of leaves under their boots. 

They were given the reins of their horses, Ellie smiling at Shimmer and caressing her neck, whispering words of affirmation to her horse. Dina checked Japan’s blanket and saddle quickly before following Ellie and the others on patrol duty out of the stables.

“Morning,” Jesse greeted them with a smile, then handed them each a rifle. “One for you, and one for you. You two are goin’ together to the northeast lookout.”

He had no horse and his cheeks were flushed from the cold. Dina knew he still had to recover at least for another week from falling off the horse before going on patrols again, but he always made sure to be there organizing and giving them instructions before they left.

"Open it up!” He yelled at the guards at the walls, and they moved quickly to open the heavy wooden doors. “All right. You all know the drill. Run your routes. Mark your logbooks. Clear any infected you see. You run into anything you can't handle, you come back. Be smart about it. All right, get goin'.”

They mounted their horses, and Dina flashed Ellie a smile before leaving, other pairs splitting away from them towards their routes.

The mountains were beautiful above them, shining with the morning sun, and they rode towards them, towards the patch of pine trees along it. They turned to the sun, and entered the forest.

It was quiet, the soft rustling of the leaves around them and the sound of the hooves hitting the smooth earth beneath it the only sounds in the first few moments. The air was fresh, and smelled like the trees around them. Dina rode beside Ellie, so she could see her stoic profile, her brows slightly furrowed in concentration.

“What you thinking so hard in there?” Ellie remained in silence, looking at her from the corner of her eyes, chewing the inside of her cheek. It was almost starting to worry her, this lack of response, the way her shoulders were tense.

“Have you… What would do if someone lied to you? Like, a big, important lie?” Ellie looked at her, green eyes scanning her face. They were the same colour as the leaves behind her. She sounded guarded, anxious.

Dina licked her lips.

“I don’t know. I guess it depends on what kind of lie. _Who_ lied to me. _Why_ they did it…” Ellie hummed, looking at the trail. “Why?”

She clicked her cheek, sending Shimmer in front of her over a barricade.

It wasn’t a big village, and the first outpost was fairly close to this entrance. Most buildings were low, not more than three stories high, and most of them had sustained damage over the years. The vegetation had overgrown and there were different rusty cars on the streets.

“I could have done something, before I came to Jackson. But Joel… he didn’t let me do it.”

There was more to it then Ellie was telling her, obviously, but it wasn’t her place to push for her to say more, so she just followed her into the first village, towards the first lookout. She thought it had to have something to do with that “trip” she made almost two years ago, how Joel and Ellie had come back different. It was the first time she touched the subject, and it felt like she let Dina peek over her walls, like she permitted the trespassing.

“Do you know why he did it? I mean, I think the _who_ and the _why_ are the important things here. If it was someone important to you and they only tried to protect you for example-”

“I don’t need his protection.” Ellie grumbled, cutting her. 

Silence fell between them, tense as Ellie seemed to be having an internal battle. Dina took her time to really see her, taking in how tired she actually looked, with her shoulders slightly slumped and the bags forming under her eyes. 

“‘m sorry. It’s just… he tried to protect me, but I could have helped so many people, you know? I feel like he robbed me from that.” Ellie didn’t sound half as angry and frustrated as before. She sounded sad, tired. Betrayed.

Dina pondered over Ellie’s words. Everyone could see how much the girl mattered to Joel, how he always tried to protect her. But Dina knew Ellie too, she knew how reckless she was, how she always seemed to be ready to jump in the front of danger, and that kind of made her believe that young Ellie would have gotten herself killed in this process.

Could she blame Joel for stopping her?

She wondered what Ellie had wanted to do. Did she try to blow up some buildings to kill a lot of infected that were terrorizing the town? Did she want to infiltrate some FEDRA post to try and tear them from the inside? She then remembered Ellie would be 14 years old at the time, so probably not that one. Did she try to challenge the evil leader of some village to a battle till death over the control of it?

She focused on Ellie’s words, replaying them in her head.

“So Joel was only trying to protect you?” Ellie hesitated, then nodded. 

Dina remembered her mom, how she didn’t seem to want to live anymore at the end. How she had no fight inside her, and how Dina had stabbed the man that had tried to hurt her.

“I don’t know what he was thinking but maybe…” she tried to remember her mother’s face, but she could only see Talia’s. “I think that people that love us know our worth better than ourselves. They know the value of our life more than we do, because they are the ones that will keep living after we pass, they will be the ones missing us.”

Ellie stopped, and for a moment Dina thought it was because of what she'd said, but her gloved hand rose, shielding her eyes from the morning sun.

“Runners,” Ellie stated, a frown on her serious face, breaking the moment. This was the Ellie Jackson knew: hardened Ellie, soldier Ellie. “I see three of them, and they’re coming this way.”

Dina squinted against the sun, looking for the infected Ellie had pointed and sure enough, she saw them slowly moving from the woods. That girl had some superpowers to notice them like that.

“We are close enough to the lookout, so we can leave Shimmer and Japan there and come for them,” Dina suggested, steering the horse towards an alley.

They moved as fast as they were able while keeping it quiet, and Dina wished it had already snowed so the hooves would be more muffled on the ground. Her heart was beating strong and fast on her chest, adrenaline kicking in.

They tied the reins on a pipe, loose enough that they could untie it fast, but just tight so the horses wouldn’t wander away.

“Hey. Maybe we should try to do it quick and quiet,” Ellie’s voice was low, and Dina angled her body towards the other girl. “I’m afraid those are strays and a horde will be attracted by the gunshots.”

“This is weird,” Dina whispered back as they made their way back to the main street, “we usually catch them on the outer perimeter, but those are pretty close. Think there will be a lot today?”

Ellie shrugged, looking around. 

“We just have to kill them first.”

And then Ellie moved, almost as fast as the characters in the action movies she liked so much, ducking behind a car. Dina followed, and they approached the infected like that: fast, quietly and with caution.

Dina could see them better now, their tattered clothes, and the closest seemed like it used to be a woman before. It still had some of the facial features, although it had only some strands of hair and lots of cysts around its eyes. 

“Take this one, I’m gonna take the next,” Ellie whispered close to her ear, sending shivers all over. She nodded, and they held each other's gaze for a second before splitting.

She observed as Ellie disappeared inside a closed store without a door, and her silhouette as she jumped off the window, hiding behind another car.

Dina’s mark had slowly walked towards her, moaning and holding its head. 

“We gotta do this quietly,” she thought to herself, holding her knife and circling the car, hoping to surprise the infected. It stopped, and for a moment she feared she had made some noise, that it somehow knew she was there, but before the creature could do anything, she sprung up and shoved the blade in its neck.

The runner let out a weird wet gasp as its body hit the ground. She searched for Ellie, and sure enough, the other girl towered above her infected, looking at her. Ellie nodded at her, and shifted her attention to the last infected they had seen.

And Dina didn’t want to admit, but it was pretty hot, and she was impressed. Ellie dashed behind the infected, her switchblade on her hand. She watched as she stabbed the thing with expertise, like she had done this a thousand times. 

She probably had.

Ellie walked back, and they met in the middle of the street. There were little droplets of blood on her jacket, and Dina could see how the people in Jackson thought she was intimidating. Her quiet and distant manners, her slight lack of social skills and the fact she was yet so skilled could make people uneasy. 

“Should we check these houses out?” Ellie asked. Her tone was still a little hardened.

It all seemed calm, but those three infected on the street made her suspicious of the village around them. Could those not be strays of a horde, but strays of groups trapped inside?

“Yeah,” she said, and they moved together to check them, starting from the ones the direction the infected had come. “Have you ever done this route before?”

Ellie nodded once, before turning her attention to the street. Dina liked her concentrated face, with the brows slightly furrowed and her nose scrunched a bit. It was the same face she did when she had to draw something fast, or when they played games. It was the same face she pulled when they went sledding last winter, or when she thought about what to say. It was adorable, and it kind of made her want to kiss her.

“I came once or twice with Astrid, I guess.” She paused, looking into a cracked window. “They usually send me south, though.” She understands the words left unsaid: _When they weren’t paired together._

They jumped inside the building, and it looked like they were in a living room; dryed out couches and dusty furniture laying around a broken TV. There were not many supplies anymore, but they managed to find some pills, some rags and alcohol and pieces that Dina could take back to Eugene so they could maybe fix some electronic stuff. 

It was weird, to walk around those ghost towns, seeing the phantoms of the lives people used to have, now dusty and broken. She couldn’t help but wonder if the family that lived there had died. If they had become infected.

The first two houses were clean.

On the third, part of the northern wall had collapsed, leaving some of the plumbing exposed on the bathroom of the second floor. Ellie was upstairs, while Dina looked for more things they could use at the compound in the kitchen.

Most useful stuff was stored in bathrooms or kitchens: first aid components, alcohol, pieces of cloth and blades, so they usually split up to search for them first, before going into the rooms and looking for funny things from the old world.

She found an almost empty bottle of alcohol, some nails and a screwdriver in a cabinet, and to her surprise, a coin. Money didn’t make sense anymore, and she hasn't seen lots of it around, really. 

Dina tried to clean it a bit from the dirt stuck on it, only to see what looked to be a flying squirrel. _“Massachusetts 1788,”_ it read. She hasn’t seen any of them while she grew up, and even now in Jackson they weren’t really common. She wondered if Ellie had seen lots of them back in Boston.

Just when she turned to yell, she heard it.

A soft, clicking noise.

And it wasn’t far.

 _Fuck._

She ducked behind the counter, wishing they had means to communicate through the walls. Ellie probably wouldn’t stay much longer upstairs, and she feared she would come down making some joke, only to be attacked by the fucking clicker.

A cold breeze entered through the window, and she has no idea where exactly the clicker is. It didn’t sound far, but they hadn’t seen it when they jumped inside, so maybe it ventured inside from the back door? Or was it somehow trapped inside some other room?

Adrenaline is kicking inside her again and she takes the knife out of its sheath. It’s better not to attract any more attention with gunshots, so she slowly moves around the counter, rising up the knife before connecting it with all her strength to the things back, to its neck. Dina watched as it fell on its knees and then face down on the wooden floor.

She had to remind herself that those things weren’t alive, they weren’t people anymore.

“So you’re not gonna believe what I just found,” Ellie’s voice was excited, and Dina could hear happiness in the way she descended the stairs, “but I’ll give you a tip: it’s _inspiring.”_

And then she looked up, saw Dina over the clicker, and her face got serious again. Ellie stopped on her tracks, and Dina could see she was holding a cylinder on her left hand, the other already with the pistol. She was impossible still, all her attention on trying to hear another infected.

“So, should I still try to guess,” she asked after what seemed to be a safe amount of time listening, “or are you gonna show me what you have there?”

Ellie smiled, that smile she seemed to share only with Dina, bright and big, then unfolded the piece, showing her a poster. It featured two boys with green hair and the words “Thoughts Twenty” in all caps along the left side. It was a band poster, and it would definitely suit Ellie’s wall.

“How would I guess a ‘band poster’ when the tip was _‘inspiring’_?” she asked, in a mix of exasperation and disbelief, and Ellie just laughed the hell out of it, barely keeping it low enough.

“I just thought you would be inspired by, you know, their hair.” She said, all mischief, “think it’d look good on you,” and like that, it was almost as if tired, worried Ellie had never been there. This felt familiar, joking around, teasing each other.

She genuinely didn’t know what to say, so she just rolled her eyes and punched Ellie on her arm before she scrolled the poster again, a smile on both of their faces.

“Think Jesse would be more inspired than me,” she could see Ellie snorting out of the corner of her eye, “or maybe Cat, she does like this artsy stuff, doesn’t she?”

A bittersweet smile kept the corner of Ellie’s mouth up for a second. 

“Yeah, she does.”

Thinking of Cat shifted something inside her, made her uncomfortable. It bubbled on her stomach, and she felt angry for a moment, before reminding herself that Ellie should have more friends. That she wouldn’t be her only friend forever, and that Ellie would eventually like someone. Because that’s what she was scared about, losing time with her best friend. It had nothing to do with the way Ellie softened around Cat too, or how she seemed excited in a different way to hang out with her.

“So, how’re things with her?” she asked, not really wanting to know the answer. She wanted to know how _Ellie_ was, if she was better already.

She’d seen them, how their not-so-shy kisses had transformed into colder eyes and anxious touches. She remembered how depressed Ellie was for a while, though she wasn’t sure how much was due to the break up, and how much was because of her trip with Joel. 

Ellie brushed the back of her hand on her nose, looking up.

“What things?” she shrugged, fiddling with her fingers. “We’re fine...” She trailed off, and silence fell between them again. Dina wondered if she should say something, but she didn’t trust herself when the subject was Cat.

It was… weird for her, to see Ellie and Cat. It was Dina who met Ellie first, who stretched her hand and invited her over. But then suddenly it was Cat that was hanging around Ellie, it was Cat that was touching her hand and tattooing her arm, and then kissing her lips-

She remained silent.

The rest of the houses were clean, and Dina wondered if maybe it wasn’t just bad luck to see those four in there. They signed the first logbook and moved on to the next one.

The clouds had started to gather up together, darker and casting shadows on the ground. The air held a faint fresh, musky smell. Maybe it was going to snow, after all.

Dina had seen their dance, slowly drifting apart, the hurt eyes and the pained faces. She wondered if it was because of how Ellie had changed when she came back, and how she was still the same.

She never really checked on Cat, and she wondered if Jesse did. They lived close to each other, and his mom was friends with Cat’s. A part of her wondered if they wouldn’t mirror Jesse and her, going on and off, but once they broke up, they had stayed apart, forever drifting away. 

They were all friends some years ago, when did all change?

Deep down, she knew when.

But they didn’t talk about this. Dina didn’t talk to Ellie about Jesse and Ellie didn’t talk to her about Cat. This was the furthest they ever went, this casual updates. Would she spoil it all if she pushed? Did Ellie want her to? Why were they talking about it now?

“Did you have a lot of flying squirrels in Boston?” Dina asked, changing the subject completely. She watched as Ellie squared her shoulders, then gave her a puzzled look, “it’s just that I found this coin of Massachusetts and it got a flying squirrel on it.”

Ellie smiled, half snorting.

“What? No way.”

She dug the coin from her pocket, flicking it to Ellie. It spiralled in the air, catching the slow setting sun and shining before landing on her open palm. Ellie just looked at it, a crack of a smile on her face.

“I can’t believe they made a coin with a _fucking_ squirrel,” she flicked the coin back, eyes back on the track, searching through the trees, “We had plenty of them. It was funny to see them jumping and gliding away.” She scratched the back of her neck, looking at the sky, “I can see if I have a drawing of them, if you want. Probably not good, but bigger than this coin.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

They jumped over another barricade, reaching the farthest point on the route before it circled back towards Jackson.

“Should we check these houses out?” Ellie asked again, her tone less tense now. “Think Maria was making a list for a next supply run and she needs some clothes. Maybe we can find some around.”

They dismounted, leaving the horses and looking around. There were some empty houses, small grocery shops and a longer building that looked promising. It was maybe a small shopping centre, with perhaps half a dozen shops inside.

And it was quiet. Almost too quiet now that they weren’t moving, and the cold wind picked up again, disheveling Dina’s ponytail and rustling the leaves in an ominous way.

Ellie touched the strap of her backpack, adjusting it on her back then she quickly checked the rifle and the pistol at her waistband. Dina supposed she looked dangerous with the weapons on her hands, her face serious and the scar on her right brow. 

They decided to leave the grocery stores and the maybe-mall last.

It seemed that other groups had already scavenged the houses clean, for they found nothing interesting. They moved inside the bigger one, that somehow had survived the weather and the others had closed and barricaded the first floor, leaving a car at the side as means to get to the low roof and inside the second floor.

The garage was picked, but it had enough space that they could leave the horses inside and Dina patted Japan’s mane before going out with Ellie again. 

They signed the logbook and slowly moved down, just to check the certain impossibility of having an infected inside the safe house. It was warmer downstairs, with all the windows and doors closed, but it also meant they had to leave their flashlights on, making it look all creepy. 

It was clean, but they still spent a little longer inside, Ellie looking for random things in the living room while Dina moved to the kitchen. 

The dust was barely moved since they closed off the first floor, but she caught sight of a book on the counter. It was thick, and her gloved hand became all dirty when she cleaned the cover enough to make out the words _“Vegetarian cooking for everyone.”_

“What do you have here?” Ellie asked from behind her, voice always quiet when they were on patrol, and then smirking when she saw the title, “we should totally give it to those guys out there.” 

Dina mirrored Ellie’s smile, bagging the book.

“Have you found anything?” she asked back before they jumped down to the car and to the street.

Ellie’s eyes glinted at that, and she picked a rectangular piece of paper from her back pocket, smiling like a little kid. 

She sometimes forgot they technically are still kids.

“I found another Savage Starlight card,” she sounded happy. In moments like these, Dina could see _her_ Ellie, the one the compound couldn’t: nerd Ellie. _Cute_ Ellie. She let herself fall on the hood of car with a thump, and Dina jumped after her, “man, these are horrible stairs, it’s too fucking noisy.”

“Maybe you’re just too heavy,” Dina joked, knowing full well that Ellie probably wasn’t heavy enough.

“Maybe I am,” she agreed, the smirk back, “still quieter than you, though.”

She pushed Ellie’s shoulders while they approached the long building, the air getting heavier  
around them. Serious.

There’s something wrong, but she can’t put her finger on it. Ellie must feel it too, because she stopped on her tracks, head moving slowly around, searching. 

The wind blew past them, and it was stronger then. The smell of decay. It wasn’t easily noticeable before, just wrong notes under the smell of the snow yet to fall, but she was sure.

“I think there’s a whole lot of them inside,” she said, nodding to the long building, her heart skipping a beat. Ellie agreed with a hum, scouting ahead and around, looking for a way in.

The building was long, but it didn’t look well. Parts of the outer walls had collapsed, and vines grew up and around it. The grass was tall and the bushes unkept, with small, growing trees dotting the outside. There was a big, rusted metal door and they unsuccessfully tried to open it up.

“I think they barricaded it,” she stated and Ellie grunted, “maybe we should try the front door.”

They clocked around it, coming to the front of the building. It had two stories, though parts had crumbled and left the beams showing. Dark, thick glass panels held poorly in the best places, and a lot of shards were scattered on the ground. It had maybe been pretty, but now it felt grim, spooky, towering above them with the heavy clouds behind.

Piles of rubble and broken cars lined the outer wall, like someone had tried to break the grass driving into them and made the floor above collapse. But there was an opening there, where two walls had fallen at an angle and left a gap big enough that they could squeeze inside. 

“I don’t see spores,” Ellie said, approaching the opening and peering the interior, “but it’s really dark inside.”

“Masks on, then,” Dina said, taking hers from the backpack and putting it over her face and looking at Ellie’s eyes, visible through the plastic. She nodded at her, and entered the hole.

She hated seeing Ellie disappear inside, the seconds where she would be alone before Dina could meet her. She also hated when they had to squeeze around, how defenseless it made her feel, how trapped she felt between the walls.

She was on the other side, Ellie waiting for her. It felt like a cavern, and the high ceiling above their heads where the upper floor had collapsed gave them a chance to see part of the second floor. There were a couple of shops on the first floor, an escalator on the right and the low clicking noise of infected.

This wasn’t a large mall, so the shops weren’t considerable when compared to the ones they sometimes scavenged on the other side of Jackson. 

Shouldn’t be that hard.

Dina nodded to the left, and they moved to the first shop. It was bigger than she had expected, and it had stands loosely lined, though there weren’t many things on the shelves anymore. It looked like it was some kind of beauty shop, and the posters left featured different women with makeup and lipstick.

Ellie disappeared behind the counter while Dina checked the shelves. Nothing particularly useful, but she did find a red lipstick in usable conditions, so she pocketed it.

The rest of the lower floor was a patio, full of tables and chairs, now thrown in random places. All around were faded signs with the names of the restaurants. Ellie jumped over a table and ducked behind it, reappearing a few seconds later holding a bottle with a rag on top of it.

They walked quietly towards the patio, spores floating around them like fireflies caught in their flashlight. And filling the space, infected.

“Get ready to shoot,” Ellie said, her voice weird through the mask, “I’m gonna show ‘em how to cook.”

She scurried away, and Dina kept half of her attention on her silhouette, the rest of her tracking the infected. She watched as Ellie lit the rag on her Molotov, then threw a piece of the broken glass around them in the middle of the patio.

It shattered with a loud crash, sending runners and clickers leaping and biting towards the sound. Ellie waited, watching they gather before sending the Molotov.

The bottle flew beautifully in the air, circling the heads below and exploding in the middle. Clickers and runners caught on fire, screeching in pain before falling on the ground. Dina picked a few strays with her knife, none of the surviving noticing them before it was too late.

“We are doing a clean job,” she said to Ellie as they climbed the escalator.

“I reckon you doing a great job, Dina, sparing ammunition,” Ellie mimicked Tommy’s voice, low and not quite reaching his tone, though she got points with her body language. “And you, Ellie-”

Dina didn’t have much time to wonder what she was going to say, because as soon as they got to the second floor, she saw that it was packed.

There were dead, half-eaten rats on the floor, and all around were clickers and runners.

“Oh, fuck me running,” Ellie muttered under her breath after they ducked behind a pile of rubble. There were less spores upstairs, and the cold wind seemed to find cracks on the structure around them to whistle. “Cover me.”

And then Ellie ran before Dina could say anything. _Infuriating_ , is what Ellie was. 

She stood, watching as Ellie put cans on the ground, quickly stepping away and around. She was mining the floor. It was a solid plan, that could work.

She watched Ellie on the other side, giving her a thumbs up and flailing her arms. She watched confused for a while and then Ellie disappeared, giving up on her. A few seconds later, a brick was flying and hitting the wall.

The infected turned their attention towards the sound, howling and clicking their way into the bombs. It was a loud explosion, and pieces of infected were blown in all directions. Ellie clocked around towards her while hell was loose, and they silently observed the chaos, picking the ones that weren’t exploded with their rifles.

“I’m the bomb master, motherfuckers!” she said, a smug smile on her face.

She was glad they were using masks, because that face usually made Dina want to kiss her. Or deck her.

They watched as the last bomb was set off in an explosion of blades and nails, sending pieces of infected to the ceiling and to the walls. Much to her surprise, a slower clicker survived, and it now flailed in their direction with the one right arm that was still attached to its body.

Ellie was quick to shoot it in its face.

“Well, he’s all right now,” Ellie said, pointing at it with the rifle.

She didn’t want to, but she couldn’t stifle the laughter that fell from her lips, muffled by the mask.

“Jesus, you’re so stupid,” she playfully pushed Ellie’s shoulders, still holding the rifle on the other hand. They moved around the pieces, towards an open store, their flashlights providing them a weird type of tunnel vision.

“You love-” she was cut off by an infected, tackling her to the ground.

Ellie held her rifle out, keeping it away from her. The infected swung wildly with its bony arms, biting at the air in front of Ellie’s face. Half of its face was covered with the fungus, and in the split second it took Dina to raise the rifle, Ellie managed to push it away from her, giving her a clear shot.

“Fucking _fuck._ Fuck this mall and fuck this stalker _in particular_ ,” Ellie said a bit out of breath, crouching with the rifle in her hands. “Thanks.”

Ellie stood, eyes scanning the wide corridor they stood in, “I don’t think the bombs were the best idea anymore.”

“No shit, _bomb master,_ ” she snickered, moving so they were back to back. Now that there were no runners moaning, they could hear the croaking of the stalkers. “If one of us dies here I’m killing you.”

Ellie scoffed behind her, and she felt her bumping into her with the recoil of the rifle. “Not even in death will you stop annoying me?”

Dina didn’t spare a glare in Ellie’s direction, instead shooting a stalker that was coming too close. “You’d deserve to be haunted by my ghost.”

They moved away from each other, shooting at infected and slowly clearing the floor.

It was weird how different Ellie looked on patrol too. More than the soldier she presented as in the compound, she was reckless, always at the front, shooting and throwing molotovs at infected as if she was scared of nothing.

She worried when Ellie went on patrol, and even more when they weren’t paired together, when she couldn’t keep an eye on her. She wouldn’t bring it up, though, seeing Jesse or Maria piss her off trying to protect her.

She knew that wasn’t how Ellie worked.

Silence fell in the mall.

“I think we got all of ‘em,” Ellie wiped the blood on her switchblade on an infecteds shirt. There was a little trickle of blood running down from a wound on the side of her forehead, but she didn’t seem to notice it.

The upper floor had a couple of clothing stores, a pharmacy and a kid’s toy store. 

They managed to find some alcohol, actual gauze and meds that went quickly inside their now-almost-full backpacks. They didn’t have much space left, so the trip to the clothing department was more of a reconnaissance mission than anything.

The rest of the mall had been mostly cleared or destroyed, but there were actually a lot of clothes left on hangers and folded in piles.

“Maybe we can take some for us,” Dina said, walking through the corridor, “and then we come back with a group and bigger bags to take this back.” Ellie hummed, walking beside her, eyes darting around looking for any sign of danger. Her brows weren’t furrowed, though, so she almost looked bored doing it. “You should look for a new pair of jeans,” she continued, eyeing the holes on Ellie’s knees, “frostbite on the knees would be weird.”

Ellie huffed, rolling her eyes.

“I have a style going on here,” Ellie answered, but did move to the jeans section. Besides the holes on the knees, they were shorter at the ankles too. “Don’t think you’d understand it, though.”

Dina scoffed, putting down the shirt she had been checking. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, I get it, the whole cowboy vibe,” Ellie looked over her shoulder at her, a tiny teasing smile on her lips, “but it’s not really a _style_ , you know?”

“You should respect my desert origins,” she pointed out, shifting through the piles, sometimes bagging shirts and jeans she liked, “these cowboy boots would save you from a snake.”

“Yeah, right.” Ellie wasn’t even looking at her and they weren’t in a life-or-death situation, so Dina took this moment to check her out again.”We are not in the desert, though.”

She could see the piles of jeans Ellie was sorting through, searching for a pair that fitted her, and Dina’s heart beated faster on her chest. 

“So, what are you doing later?” making conversation was easier, was better than looking at her friend in silence. She saw Ellie shrugging.

“Not sure. What are _you_ doing?” she didn’t leave enough space between the phrases, as to try and stop Dina from teasing her.

“I’m not sure. Think it’s gonna snow, and it’s not bonfire night,” her backpack was a little stuffed now, and she walked towards Ellie, looking at the shirts she was packing, “do you wanna watch a movie? Maybe not mope alone for a night?”

That earned her a push and an eye roll.

“Shut up, I don’t _mope._ ” She mumbled. Dina could see the faint tint on Ellie’s cheeks through the plastic of the mask, and the green of her eyes when she glared down at her.

“So you _are_ coming,” she flashed Ellie a smile she wasn’t sure was visible.

“I have to think about it, can I really put up with you after this?” she signaled at the patrol duty with a nod of her head and Dina scoffed.

“You love it,” they walked back, out of the store and down the escalator, “besides, it’s not like you actually have something better to do.”

Ellie grunted, and they finally made it out of the building, to the bleak sun light of the clouded sky.

“I just hope you’re not inviting me to watch some cheesy romantic shit,” she said as a matter of fact, lifting the mask off her face and putting it back into the backpack.

“Yeah, fine, I’ll let you pretend you’re not a sap like they are,” she took hers off too, and they made their way back to the main street. Strands of her hair were glued to her face with sweat and the pressure of the mask. 

“How generous of you.”

“Yep. Always remember that, Ellie,” she rolled her eyes, puffing and putting her pistol back in her waistband, before looking at Dina and back at the sky.

“One last run to the grocery store and then head back?”

She nodded, the sky even darker now. Their footsteps echoed softly in the pavement, and some dead leaves blew around them in the cold wind as they crossed towards the grocery store.

The first one was small, with almost all shelves clean. They found some cleaning materials, stuffing the backpacks even more. It seemed like there were no infected inside, like maybe other patrols had already killed them or they tried their luck in the mall.

The other was actually a cafe, and Dina managed to find a box of tea in the middle of hard and covered with mold bagels. She saw Ellie hesitate with a bag of coffee in her hands, and then she packed it too.

She wondered, if this was another time, if there was no Cordyceps, if Ellie and her would come here, so close to Jackson to have a drink. If they would study in a university close by, and laugh and study and go on dates. Would they be friends, if there was no infected threat to bind them? 

A part of her was sure that if they ever met, with or without Cordyceps, they would have found their way into each other's lives. 

“So, I’m coming over after I shower,” Dina said as they exited the cafe, Ellie somehow holding a brick, “so shower, ‘cause I don’t want to cuddle with your sweaty ass.”

“What? First, I always smell nice when we are in Jackson,” she started, side-eyeing her, “so you’re the one that smells bad.” They went back to update the logbook and get the horses, Ellie carefully checking so the poster wouldn’t be destroyed. “And second, you’re the one that wants to cuddle.”

“It’s not my fault that I need human contact,” she clicked her cheek, following Ellie out of the garage and riding beside her, “I do it for you too, you know. Humans are a social species, we need contact. And, I always smell like roses, even on patrol.”

Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Well, if I smell so bad then why do you keep coming?”

Dina rode her horse closer so she could kick Ellie’s foot.

“Can’t let you mope forever,” Ellie mumbled something under her breath, that sounded like she was denying all the sulking, “besides, you’re the best pillow, even with your bony shoulders.”

“Yeah, right,” Ellie just made Shimmer go faster to jump over the barricade ahead of her.

Silence fell between them, the sun now lower in the sky, the clouded sky covering most of the fading daylight. It was quiet, the soft rustling of the leaves around them and the sound of the hooves hitting the smooth earth beneath it the only sounds after they left the village. The air was humid and smelled like the trees around them. Dina rode beside Ellie, watching her guarded profile, her brows slightly furrowed in thought. 

She was beautiful, with the reddish-brown hair catching the few sun rays that managed to break the cloud cover. She liked the freckles that dotted her cheeks, the green of her eyes and the scar on her eyebrow. Dina watched Ellie bite down on her lower lip, her knuckles white under the blood on her hands, gripping the reins. She still had blood on her forehead, and a bruise was forming under her chin. She tried to control the fast beating of her heart.

Silence wasn’t a problem with them, and she let Ellie with her thoughts, comfortably riding along the other girl. 

The Jackson outer wall became visible in the distance, and Ellie sighed, adjusting herself on the saddle. She was slowly returning to soldier Ellie, preparing for the arrival at the compound. 

“I, uh. Thank you,” she scratched the back of her neck, awkwardly looking away, “for the, you know, talk.” Ellie’s cheeks were red. “And for kicking that stalker’s ass”

Dina wanted to say she was glad Joel had done what he did, because she was glad they had met, that Ellie was a part of her life now, but she bit her tongue.

Dina chuckled, glad that Ellie wasn’t looking at her so she could take a moment to stare. She loved moments like these, where she could see _Ellie_ , and she loved that it almost seemed like their secret.

“Of course,” she let the teasing fall on her voice, “I wonder what you’d do with me.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, a tiny smile on her lips. It was easier like that, to banter and tease, even though it hurted. She wanted Ellie to talk to her, to trust her. Dina wanted to see more than the few glimpses over her walls, she wanted to understand her. She wanted nerd, dork Ellie beside her every day.

“Up my infected record,” Ellie stuck her tongue out at her. Now that they were almost in safety, it was simple to let her guard down and let her eyes drop to her mouth. But it was hard to come to terms that she wanted Ellie in a way that she didn’t want her.

“As if.” She kicked Ellie’s boot again. “Race you to the walls, winner gets to choose the movie!”

And she clicked her cheek, making Japan bolt towards it, Ellie swearing behind her and her laugh being carried away with the wind.

Maybe one day she would have her Ellie with her, but for now, she would treasure these moments, Ellie’s laugh as she sped past her, giving her the finger and almost falling off Shimmer.


	2. Dina - Disney and chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dina goes to Ellie's house so they can watch a movie.

Dina knocked on Ellie’s door, blowing on her gloved hands out of habit. There was no snow yet, and it was still freezing outside and yet Ellie was making her wait in the cold.

They had parted after leaving Shimmer and Japan in the stables, walking and teasing each other in the streets. Dina had won the race, after a very competitive Ellie slipped a foot off the stirrup and almost fell.

“Hey,” Ellie said as she opened the door, only the top of her hair tied back. It was still a little damp, and she wore another pair of mismatched socks and a navy hoodie. Her cheeks colored as she stepped aside to let Dina come inside. 

“Hey,” she took her boots and the gloves off first, smiling at Ellie. “Are you ready to watch the movie I chose, loser?”

Ellie just rolled her eyes, walking back towards the stove. She wasn’t wearing jeans, but Dina still checked her out in the grey sweatpants. She took the small sack of yellow kernels from her coat pocket before leaving it into the arm of the couch.

“What movie is it?” Ellie asked over her shoulder, listening as Dina approached her. “You did promise no cheesy romantic shit.”

Dina dumped the corn into the pan, nudging Ellie away from the stove. “I didn’t promise anything,” she grinned at Ellie, now looking at her with her back on the bathroom wall, “but I don’t know. I found this on patrol one of these days.”

She handed Ellie the DVD, watching her as she looked at the cover, a small smile on her lips. Dina was sure it didn’t really matter the movie they watched, Ellie was always happy to see something from Before.

“Is it a kid’s movie?” She asked, trying to tone down the smile on her voice as Dina shook the pan to make the popcorn.

“Looks like it, doesn’t it?” Dina smirked back at her, “had to find something for your mental age.”

“You dick,” Ellie hit her with the plastic case, picking a bowl and setting it beside her on the counter. “you say that as if you don’t love them too.”

“I don’t,” she put the popcorn on the bowl, sprinkling a little bit of salt over it. It was a lie. She loved the movies they watched together, and some of the animations had a special place in her heart. “It’s a sacrifice for me to watch them with you.”

Elle scoffed, taking two glasses of water and walking her to her bed, “Right, ‘cause it wasn’t you who made me watch the one with the baby lion three times. _In a row._ ”

“Nope. Wasn’t me,” she sat on the bed, scooting so she could rest her back on the headboard. Ellie had a tiny smile on her lips as she set the glasses down on the bedside table and crouched down to put the DVD on the PS3.

“Or who sang ‘You’ve got a friend in me’ for a week on patrol.”

“Nope, also wasn’t me. And you were so grumpy that week, you totally needed that.” Ellie just rolled her eyes, sitting beside her, mumbling something that sounded like that was just the way she was.

“Or, who _cried_ with the little blue alien-”

“Okay, how _could_ you! I did cry,” she managed with pride, but she felt her ears getting hot, and she turned her attention to Ellie, who looked so smug right now. “Stop that! I bet you cried too, I just couldn’t see it because there were too many tears in my eyes.”

Ellie laughed, her face lit by the blue light from the TV as she held the control. Dina tried, she really did, but it was so hard not to stare. On times like these she wished she could draw like Cat, so she could paint her and not forget the big smile on her face. Especially this smile, the one that was goofy and teasing and easy. The way her eyebrows shot up and her eyes were little green half-moons above it. Dina’s smile. It was cute, and Dina reminded herself to look away.

Those were not safe thoughts.

“So you _do_ enjoy them,” Ellie put a handful of popcorn into her mouth, but her eyes showed how full of herself she was feeling. Dina rolled her eyes, elbowing her ribs.

“Shut up, smartass, the movie is on.” Ellie shrugged, the victorious glint in her eyes still there when she turned her attention to the TV.

They ate the popcorn in silence, eyes glued to the screen. Dina’s head found its way to rest on Ellie’s shoulder, her arm resting on Ellie’s leg as her left side was pressed against the other girl. Ellie smelled like soap, like the forest, fresh and earthy, and Dina snuggled closer.

Her heartbeat was faster every time she was this close to Ellie. Every time they locked eyes for longer than necessary, every time she brushed her hand on Ellie’s, every time she saw the nerd grin she had on when she found those Savage Starlight cards. Every time she hugged her, and every time she saw how flustered Ellie got with the teasing.

Dina was enjoying the movie, the thief boy and the princess with the tiger against the ugly thin evil man. She thought of how the kids in Jackson could one day rebel too, wanting to see the outside world, just like she had.

“You kinda look like her,” Ellie said, voice quiet and shy. Dina puffed.

“What? I do not,” she angled her head to see Ellie’s face, cheeks pink and eyes focused on the screen.

Ellie scratched her neck, looking at her for a second before turning away.

“I think you do. I mean, you’re so stubborn and sarcastic and can’t admit you’re wrong.”

“Seems to me you’re describing yourself,” she teased, not really removing her head from Ellie’s shoulder. She saw the other girl shudder, and she brushed her nose with the back of her hand.

“What? I am not!” She was, and there was no way Ellie could deny it. “Besides, I was actually thinking physically, you know? The big eyes, the tanned skin and the strong nose... She’s gorgeous and-” She stopped herself, cheeks burning and eyes focused on the screen.

She stifled a laugh, looking how flustered Ellie had become, right hand squeezing the fingers of the left.

“So you think I’m gorgeous?” Her tone was full teasing, completely flirty. She wiggled her eyebrows, earning herself a chuckle and a light push on the shoulders.

“Shut up, I said _she_ was pretty, not you,” Ellie was desperately trying to get out of the hole she dug for herself. She could see how much she regretted speaking in the first place, and how it all took a weird turn in the right places. Her eyes were wide, and there was a hint of fear, of shame on them.

“But you said I looked like her,” Dina reasoned, her turn to be all smug, even though her heart was beating fast and happy in her chest, “so you do think I’m hot. Thanks, Ellie.”

She patted her forearm, still smiling at Ellie’s embarrassed profile. A part of her wished she could have this Ellie all the time, the cute and dorky Ellie, but the other felt happy Ellie chose _her_ to share this part of herself with. She felt special.

“I never said she was hot. Besides, you have too many friends, so you can’t really look like her.”

“But I can _look_ like her and not _be_ her,” Ellie just rolled her eyes, resting herself on the headboard again, and Dina let her head fall on Ellie’s shoulder once more. She mumbled something about never speaking again and Dina snorted. “Oh, don’t be like that, Ellie. I think you’re very much like Abu.”

“Abu? The monkey?” she deadpanned, and Dina just nodded against her neck.

“Yep. I saw the resemblance at the beginning where he stuffed his mouth with fruits." Her words hung in the air for a shocked second before Ellie opened her mouth, face in mocking hurt.

“What? I never did anything like that,” she said, face almost a perfect mask, was it not for her smiling eyes.

“Yes you did! I remember seeing you stuffing your pockets when we were in the Tipsy Bison,” she accused, a smile on her lips. “Thought you’ve never seen food before in your life.”

Ellie had been so much skinnier when she arrived in Jackson, and young Dina had seen her hide food in her pockets and eating so much her cheeks always looked like a squirrel hiding nuts inside.

“A ridiculous thought,” Ellie said, looking at her with shining eyes. “How would I be alive if I had never seen food before?”

“You know what I mean, dumbass,” Dina rolled her eyes, and poked Ellie’s ribs, “that’s just my argument to say you’re him.”

“Fine,” there was silence between them for minutes, and Dina was starting to doze off. “But you gotta admit, Jesse kinda looks like Aladdin.”

They laughed together, easy and warm and Dina adjusted Ellie’s arm around her shoulder so she could cuddle closer. She was tired from patrol, and lying beside Ellie was comfortable enough to make her close her eyes and just listen for a second.

Ellie was relaxed beside her, chest rising subtly and the hand on her back was warm and comforting. Dina opened one eye to see the credits rolling and a Ellie with closed eyes. She looked so peaceful, no lines on her brow and it seemed hard to think she could be so intimidating. That she moved like lighting through the infected, that she was fierce and dangerous.

Right now, she only looked cute and adorable.

“Ellie?” but she only sighed in her sleep, so Dina sat and took the PS3 off after putting the DVD in the plastic case.

“What- Dina?” her voice was thick with sleep and she raised herself on her elbows. “I’m sorry.”

“Go back to sleep, Ellie,” she crouched beside her, putting her hand over hers and yawning. “I’ll go home now. Thanks for the movie.”

“It’s too late, just stay,” she mumbled, green eyes fighting to remain open. She would never speak like that if she wasn’t more than half-asleep. She was so cute, and Dina's gaze fell to her lips.

She was so close.

She should go home.

“Okay,” she said with a sigh, putting the plastic case beside the empty glasses and flapping down beside Ellie again. “But I’m gonna cuddle your bony, smelly ass, okay?”

Ellie snickered, eyes already closed and arm stretched out. 

Dina lay her head on Ellie’s shoulder, draping one arm over her stomach, closing her eyes.

“Hey Dina?” Ellie mumbled on her hair, not really expecting an answer before continuing, “I’m sorry I slept, it’s just sleeping comes so naturally to me,” she yawned, bringing Dina slightly closer, “I can do it with my eyes closed.”

“Jesus, you’re so dumb,” she grumbled back, but there was a smile on her lips.

“You’re laughing with me.” Ellie poked her arm with the one that wasn’t serving as a pillow.

“Not with you, _of_ you,” she poked her back and Ellie let out a half-awake laugh.

“You love it,” she smiled smugly, and within a few seconds her breath calmed and she fell asleep.

Dina touched Ellie’s hand, feeling the callouses on her cold fingertips, the softness of the back of her hand. Just like Ellie, two sides of the same coin; cold, guarded and soldier Ellie with the finger on the trigger and nerd, dorky and cute Ellie that brushed her hand on the nose when she was embarrassed.

She wished she could feel her hands on her back, pulling her closer. Or on her cheek, tilting her face up to kiss her. She wanted to hold her hand while they walked back from patrol and see it moving on the neck of the guitar. She wanted to kiss the hurt tips and hold it to her chest.

“I do,” she whispered to herself, closing her eyes.

It wasn’t unusual for Dina to crash on Ellie’s after watching a movie or playing video games. It was so normal that Ellie was used to seeing Jesse knocking on her door looking for Dina.

Dina didn’t wake up to his knocking, though. Despite the cold outside, she felt almost bothered with the heat. Groggy eyes slowly opened to find an Ellie with half of her body on top of hers. 

They were cuddling facing each other, Dina’s head close to Ellie’s neck and the girl's arm wrapped loosely around her back. It was comfortable and it was easy to look up and see all the freckles dotting her cheeks, and her half-parted lips.

_Nope._

Dina hugged her closer, burying her head on Ellie’s chest, as if not seeing her face would help with the fast beating of her heart. But it made no difference for she was just closer, their fronts flushed together and one of Ellie’s legs on top of her. She couldn’t see her face, but she could still smell her.

It smelled like home.

She dozed off, and she dreamed of a blue sky, golden grass and a laughing Ellie.

When she woke up again, it was because she heard Ellie cursing from the kitchen. 

It made her laugh, and she yawned before thinking of standing up. She was still a little tired and she kind of wanted to sleep a bit more. And if she was completely honest, she wanted to keep cuddling her friend.

Because that’s what they were.

She stood up with a groan to see Ellie holding her finger under the tap, mumbling curses under her breath to the frying pan. Two plates were set on the counter with toast, egg and cheese.

“You okay, El?” The nickname slipped easily through her lips, but Ellie didn’t seem to have registered it, nodding and turning off the tap.

“Yeah, just burned my finger on the fucking pan,” she took the other plate and put in on Dina’s hands, walking her to the sofa. She sat and started making a sandwich with the toast.

“Didn’t know you could cook,” Dina said surprised, taking the plate and doing the same. Sitting beside her.

“Oh, I can’t. This is as far as it goes, and I even burned my finger doing it,” she spoke with her mouth half-full, a small embarrassed smile on her eyes. Dina chuckled, biting down on her own sandwich. “I guess _I_ could use the book you found too.”

She laughed, and it wasn’t bad, because Ellie had managed to burn only her finger, so she just took her time. They ate in almost silence, Ellie’s feet on the centre table and Dina’s under herself so she could actually stare at Ellie. She looked a bit sleepy still, yawning every now and then and eyeing the comic book pile on the table.

“Ah!”, Dina put down her empty plate on the table, suddenly remembering it and grinning at Ellie, who just looked confused, “my flying squirrel! Where is it?”

She saw Ellie biting down on her lower lip, cheeks pink and obviously trying not to smile. She looked away, now finishing her bite before speaking, “I made this quite some time ago, so don’t expect a lot,” her whole face was red now, and she seemed like she regretted offering to show her the drawing, “actually, please don’t expect anything.”

Dina gave her a laugh, raising her eyebrows in an encouraging manner. It only made Ellie stand up with a sigh, and she put the plates on the sink before kneeling down beside a box. She shifted through it, often taking a notebook and flipping some pages before putting it back inside.

She marked a page with a finger before turning back and sitting beside her again. She looked serious and shy. Dina tried not to think it was adorable.

“You can’t laugh, okay?” She opened the notebook, making a face at it, “why am I showing you this again?”

She smiled reassuringly at Ellie, resting her hand on the sofa between them.

“Because I showed you the coolest coin with one ugly squirrel on it,” she said and Ellie almost smiled, “and I would never laugh. I bet it’s amazing.”

Ellie looked everywhere but at her eyes, and she flipped the notebook so Dina could see it with a sigh.

The first was a pencil drawing of a flying squirrel, little arms spread as it glided through the air. It had another one with running up a tree and a third stuffing its mouth with nuts. Ellie managed to make the fur look fluffy and the shadowing on it was amazing. It kinda felt like seeing a glimpse of Ellie’s head.

She instinctively flipped through, catching sight of Ellie’s handwriting and a deer before the notebook was snatched from her hands. Ellie looked almost scared, eyes wide and a blush reaching her ears.

“Uh, sorry,” Dina said, keeping on the smile. “Those were really good, Ellie, I love it.”

“I-Uh… Thanks,” she scratched the back of her neck, looking at the notebook on her hands, before raising her eyes. “It’s not just a sketchbook,” she said simply, her serious face still red.

“Yeah, sorry,” she tried not to let her smile dim, but she could almost see Ellie putting her walls up again, distancing herself from Dina. Closing the door to her heart.

“It’s fine,” she said hastily, turning her back to her to put the notebook back in the box.

She could feel Ellie’s discomfort, how awkward she felt, and she didn’t really know how to dissipate it, so she just remained seated at the sofa, staring at her. Ellie squeezed the fingers of her left hand with the right, not meeting her eyes.

Oh God, that was so weird.

“Okay, I gotta go,” Dina said, standing up and taking the DVD case from the bedside table. She smiled to a conflicted looking Ellie. She slipped her feet into the boots, grabbing her coat and the gloves, “Will I see you at lunch?”

Ellie blinked, then nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. See you, Ellie,” and she winked before going outside.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it ;)  
> Been thinking of writing a high school AU, so tell me if you guys are interested?
> 
> ALSO, I've been writing this series backwards, so this is actually the 3 fic I've written :D


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